The Bees are Missing

I think the horror and panic began when I really got it that they were missing . . . disappeared . . . gone. And that nobody knew why most of the honey bees went away or died - or could say for sure if or when they would come back. As implications of this sudden and undeniable disruption sunk in I experienced a sickening physical sensation - a sort of nausea . . . like the dizzy disorientation I've only ever been aware of in the immediate aftermath of the few largish earthquakes I've experienced in my life. For me, those rare experiences produced a horrifying understanding and absolute awareness of the truth that the ground beneath our feet is not what it seems to be - and that, in fact, everything was still slowly shifting and rocking.

It's not even that I'm really fond of bees - in fact I've always avoided getting too close to them lest I be stung - or, more truthfully, because all insects and crawly buzzing things tend to creep me out. Yes, I know bees are “good bugs” and all that, but still . . .

I had been successfully not noticing the absence of these mildly irritating creatures, even as occasional news commentaries or an online post speculated about what causes or conditions were involved in the sudden mysterious dwindling of the worldwide bee population. You see, I am very, very good at not noticing. Not noticing is a little appreciated trait that comes quite naturally to me - through a neuro-biological quirk called ADHD. However my ability to not notice is also a life-sustaining talent that I've have cleverly perfected and integrated into my arsenal of self-protective weapons. I've relied upon this “not noticing” to develop the ability to function superbly in situations and under circumstances where most others crumble and then fail. This ability to carry on has served me well, delivering me more than a few times from the unbearable. My not noticing ability blunted the pricks of my life's sharpest thorns - rescuing my hidden fragility from assaults that would have ripped and torn me beyond repair. Some things have to be avoided at all costs! Yes, not noticing is the blessed dullness protecting my naked soul - an insensitivity to pain which some that think they know me well have mistakenly labeled as stoicism, or even courage.

But back to the bees . . .